Sherifa was about 10 years older than me, divorced, and had a great fashion sense. I was always admiring her shoes – which she always said were just as comfy as they were cute. She possessed a warmth that very few people can claim. We quickly bonded and, while I’d like to think I was her favorite client, I have a sense she made everyone who worked with her feel that way – that they were special, unique, and, most importantly, her priority.
While Sherifa shared some aspects of her personal life – I knew she was using online dating, had two wonderful kids, etc – she was very careful to keep the professional balance with us. When she told me she had started dating someone seriously, I was so happy for her. She said he was an incredible man. During her bout with cancer, she told me that he was a support for her, and I was relieved to know she had someone special in her life to comfort her when she needed it. Sometimes she even joked that late-night whatsapp chats with him kept her spirits alive when she couldn’t sleep.
The truth is, she saved my life. She helped me overcome some of my worst demons and luckily, lived to see much of my recovery from my eating disorder. She also helped me get my finances on track, supported me as I bought my first home, and helped support me overcome endless other major and minor life battles. Whenever I felt down between sessions, I could just drop her a quick whatsapp message, and she’d remind me of the tools I already had inside me.
She also helped me see the grey in life. Many people who suffer from eating disorders have perfectionist personalities and only see the world as “good vs bad” or “black and white.” Sherifa helped me understand that not everything had to be all or nothing. I use what she taught me every day in my life and often quote her at work as I channel her wisdom. “I have to see the grey in this situation,” I hear myself saying. She’s an angel now (even though we were both Jewish!) I carry on my shoulder every day. Even now, when I scroll through old whatsapp conversations we shared, I can hear her voice guiding me to be kinder to myself.